A Wedding Officiant’s Reflection on Valentine’s Day

Written By Karla Villar

We’re halfway through the second month of this new year and it’s clear that 2026 will be a truly revolutionary anniversary - for us - nuestre gente - our country.

Alongside all the disillusion and disgust for the depravity we’re bearing witness to on the daily, my gut tells me that this year will be full of heart-centered actions. I feel a surge of soulful fiery expression from the warrior within ready to fuel people-powered movements for years to come. It’s on-brand with the Fire Horse vibes coming up in a few days.

I’m talking about the kind of energetic outputs that match the manifesting frequency of our deepest desires - new visions for a shared future and all those unrealized dreams that we will make time for and help make come true.

I picture a future that centers our interconnectedness…

and does away with the delusion that we are separate. I want a world that understands the US vs THEM mentality - gets its roots and limbs - and has learned healthy ways to discard the rotting and rotten ideas that don’t serve us anymore.

I see us bringing forth an era where V-Day is transformed from its current capitalistic form into something else - a reflection and projection of our open healing hearts. 

Wouldn’t it be revolutionary if through our pure will and consciousness, we turn a profit-churning invention to a service-oriented day - a la MLK!

Imagine if we make it a day where celebrations and authentic gestures deliberately focus on the source energy of LOVE. Through our intention and attention, we can make thoughts of love turn into acts of love and in that way, love will grow and spread.

I can see us dropping our false scripts and letting go of our made-up notions we’ve placed on romantic love; dropping pretenses and letting go of expectations that aren’t really our own. There are plenty of people everywhere who protest the holiday every year, not only because it’s considered a Western-religious-corporate import, but because it feels purposefully exclusionary.

It is shifting though. 

In my mind’s eye, it moves towards a day of action - a day of reflection, deliberation, and education on ways to EMBODY LOVE. A day where we pause and put love back on the docket, bring it into spaces that forget to practice it and think of all the ways it shows up in our lives - recognize the power of love and use it to do all kinds of good!! Can you see it too? 

The truth is it’s already happening - there have been efforts to decenter romantic bonds that have already caught on. 

I appreciate Galentine’s Day, for example - a reminder that love is not just for the coupled. Friendships are just as worthy of honoring and celebrating. When we were young kids, Valentine’s Day was more about the broader concept of love and classmates sharing hand-made cards and parents doting on their babies with a little more time and tenderness are excellent traditions to lean on and expand upon.

Of course, most of us completely understand that having friends and family who show genuine affection or reinforce connection, just isn’t  everyone’s reality. And, yes, I totally get why many of us consider today a hogwash Hallmark greeting card holiday that just ends up draining our wallets and burdening us with unnecessary demands set upon us by corporations.

But in  the aftermath of today’s cruelty and disregard for human dignity, how can I not want any and all days full of symbolism - days we’ve  named in honor of saints we’ve ordained to be reclaimed by the people - taken back from the churches and corporations and upgraded for the well-being of the collective! 

I want holidays that live up to their hype!! 

And Valentine’s Day, in my eyes, should help us form, preserve, and grow our heartstrings. That’s the timeline I want - one where we get that our human ties are what curbs our fears of death and loneliness. I want our culture to nurture all love - in all its configurations and bold expressions - because it literally helps keep us alive! Love keeps us thriving.

The fact is that despite our continued self-own and our submission to a perverted class of the rich and famous, our collective consciousness is growing and expanding past this material realm. We are evolving; damn it! I see it!

Just as I see all the rest in our human experience. Through all the regression and attempts at suppression, LOVE persists and ultimately wins even when it feels like it doesn’t. And it feels that way because when we’re in the chaos and in all the noise, we can’t think straight and can easily forget.

Of course, we can’t ignore the truths that these "unprecedented" 2020s have exposed about our nation; what we’ve now all seen and done and been. It’s obvious to me that we are love-starved - a people made ill by propagandized hate. We’re not the only ones, of course; the problem is global. 

We continue to bow down at the altar of money and power giving up control to the sadistic - the most sociopathic and narcissistic among our human lot. We allow small men and the small-minded to impose their will and manipulate the rest of us. 

And why? Because they’re quick to take the reins and always want to claim top spot. But we can do better; we must!! 

That’s what, in part, St. Valentine’s spirit calls us to do; if we care to listen. 

Legend says St. Valentine showed up in the energy of love when he confronted the unjust laws of his 3rd century time and space. With clarity of purpose and faith in humanity, he resisted the man-made laws because he saw what the rulers of his world were doing to his flock. The powerful elite were hurting his people and he was compelled to stand up; determined to do his part to help stop what he could.

Without regard for his own fate, he officiated weddings and affirmed partnerships that the king wanted to deny! He gave up his freedom in the practice of love. 

Regardless of the truth of St. Valentine, we are the ones that get to dictate what we do with the knowledge we have and as far as I can tell based on the history I know, hate and evil begets more of the same. I’m with Bad Bunny on this: “sometimes we get contaminados…the only thing that is more powerful than hate is love.

Look, I think we should always do what feels right to us. Part of my day will include hitting the streets in protest. But even if you spend all day protesting this holiday too, take a moment to join me in imagining the kind of love actions and love celebrations you might want one day! 

We are here to meet - be with - love on - and fight for the light alongside all love warriors that help ignite the courage we all need to roar and lead with our hearts. As bilingual wedding officiants who craft personal, heartfelt wedding ceremonies, we deeply understand the power of bridging worlds and uniting our communities with joyful love.

Karla Villar https://www.qeweddings.com/
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