How to Choose the Perfect Wedding Officiant: A Step-by-Step Guide

Now that you’re thinking of your wedding ceremony, it’s time to choose the right wedding officiant for your wedding day! This will be one of the most important decisions you’ll make while planning your wedding. Your officiant sets the tone for the ceremony and the rest of the day, playing a crucial role in making your day a beautifully memorable one. Whether you’re planning a large celebration or an intimate elopement, your officiant’s personality, style, and approach to your ceremony will impact your entire wedding experience.

Photographer: DAG Images • Officiant: Once Upon A Vow • Location: New York Public Library

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you choose the perfect wedding officiant for your wedding day.

1. Consider Your Ceremony Style

Before choosing an officiant, think about what kind of wedding ceremony you want. Are you looking for something traditional, religious, spiritual, secular, or more personalized? Understanding your ceremony style will help you find an officiant who aligns with your values and vision.

• Religious Ceremonies: If you're planning a religious wedding, you'll likely choose an officiant who is affiliated with your faith. In that case, you’ve definitely narrowed down the search and we’re not the best fit.

• Secular or Non-Denominational Ceremonies: For couples who prefer a non-religious ceremony, a secular or non-denominational officiant would be ideal. We’ve performed countless secular wedding ceremonies for modern couples who want the focus to be more on their definition of marriage as they write the next chapter of their lives together.

• Personalized Ceremonies: Some officiants specialize in creating deeply personal, custom ceremonies, perfect for couples who want a ceremony that reflects their unique love story. This right here is our love language to you! If you’re looking for that personal touch of a close loved one, we’ll likely vibe!

2. Research Their Experience and Style

Next, research your potential officiants' experience and style. Do you want a formal ceremony or a more comfortable and intimate atmosphere? Some officiants specialize in highly scripted, traditional ceremonies, while others may have a more relaxed or personalized approach.

• Read Reviews and Testimonials: Look for online reviews and testimonials from couples who have worked with your list of officiants. Vendor reviews are also incredibly important as they’ve likely seen and worked with a wide range of wedding officiants. Their feedback can give you an idea of what to expect.

• Check Their Portfolio: Many officiants have examples of previous ceremonies or video clips of their work. This will help you gauge their style, voice, and delivery.

• Ask About Their Ceremony Approach: Every officiant has a different approach to weddings. We’re all human, after all, so it’s important to see what approach feels best to you. Some may be more formal, while others are more laid-back. Make sure their style matches your ceremony vision.

3. Understand Their Availability and Flexibility

Oftentimes, wedding planning can feel overwhelming, and timing is everything. When choosing an officiant, make sure their availability aligns with your wedding date. If you’re planning a destination wedding or an elopement, it's crucial to ensure your officiant can travel to your chosen wedding ceremony location.

• Book Ahead of Time: Officiants, especially popular ones, can book up quickly. It’s best to reach out as early as possible, especially if you’re getting married during peak wedding season. Typically, spring and fall weekends in NYC and Boston book up the fastest.

• Flexibility with Ceremony Times: If you have a specific timeline for your wedding day, check to make sure your officiant is flexible and can accommodate your schedule. Sometimes, weddings are subject to changes in plans. We’ve all experienced this during COVID so make sure your officiant is willing to adapt if any last-minute adjustments need to be made. We understand that life happens so make sure to communicate openly with your chosen officiant.

4. Ask About Their Customization Options

We believe your wedding ceremony should be as unique as your love story. A great officiant will work with you to personalize your ceremony to reflect the beauty of your relationship, your values, and set the tone that feels authentic to you. Here are some questions to ask:

• Do you include personal readings or rituals? Many couples want to include personal readings, cultural traditions, or unique rituals into their ceremony. Make sure your officiant is open to incorporating these elements. We most definitely welcome any and all elements that feel true to you and can recommend some options for your consideration.

• Will you help us write our vows? Some officiants provide vow-writing guidance or templates, while others may help edit the vows you’ve written into the ceremony. We have created a few blog posts to support your vow writing journey and are wholeheartedly here to be an extra pair of eyes or a love-fueled editor to finalize your wedding vows.

• How much input do we have in the ceremony structure? A good officiant should allow you to have input in how the ceremony flows, including any special moments you want to incorporated. To us, the creation of your wedding ceremony is a collaboration! If you’re having a fully-personalized ceremony, we’d send you the ceremony outline to get a solid sense of its overall energy and flow, including any and all elements that you’ve chosen to include.

5. Consider Their Personality

You likely want an officiant who gets you; someone who makes you feel comfortable, supported, and excited for your wedding day! After all, they’ll be leading one of the most important moments of your life. You’ll want to feel like you’re working with someone you who understands your vision and vibe.

• Meet With Them: Arrange an in-person meeting or virtual consultation with your potential officiant. This is a great way to see if your personalities mesh and if they understand your needs. Feel free to book a 20-minute ‘Checking Out The Vibes” video chat with Dani or Karla to see if one of us fits your wedding ceremony vibe.

• Check Out Their Communication Style: You’ll want an officiant who communicates clearly, listens to you fully, and is open to discussing any ideas, thoughts, or concerns you might have. We mostly communicate via email and video chat, for example. But maybe you’re an Instagram DM’er and that’s part of your communication style.

• Do Your Energies Match? Whether you want someone energetic or calm, your officiant should match (or complement) your energies. If you’re looking for someone who gets hyped listening to your story, who adds to the conversation like an enthusiastic fan with well timed laughs and aww’s, who listens attentively to the plot twists, and asks all the right questions, we are your kind of wedding officiants.

Photographer: Impressenshi • Officiant: Once Upon A Vow • Location: Bethesda Terrace, Central Park

6. Check Their Credentials

Officiants must be legally ordained or licensed to perform weddings. In some cities, like NYC and Boston, wedding officiants have to register with the City Clerk’s Office in order to legally marry couples. We’ve helped couples who have unfortunately not had the legal part accurately completed by unregistered pastors or wedding officiants who didn’t file correctly. Definitely ask your chosen wedding officiant about their credentials and experience with legal paperwork and filings.

• Do They Handle the Legalities? Ensure your officiant is familiar with the legal requirements in your state, county, or country and will ensure that all the necessary paperwork is submitted correctly after the ceremony. While we are based and legally registered to marry couples in NYC and Boston, we have also officiated ceremonies in the tri-state and New England areas. We’ve gone as far west as Oregon and even overseas to Germany!

• Are They Authorized to Officiate in Your Area? If you're getting married outside the officiant’s state or country, confirm they are authorized to marry couples in the location of your wedding. For international weddings, you may need to get legally married in your home country before they pronounce you married elsewhere.

7. Confirm Rates and Ceremony Packages

Wedding officiants typically have set fees and packages depending on their experience, the location of the wedding, and the level of personalization for the ceremony.

• What Does their Rate Include? Ask about what’s included in the rate, such as pre-ceremony consultations, ceremony preparation, rehearsals, travel expenses, and post-ceremony paperwork. For us, rate transparency is one of our values in order for engaged couples to have all the information they need to make the decision simple and straight forward. We’re all-inclusive wedding officiants, so there are no surprise fees.

• Are There Any Additional Costs? Some officiants may charge additional fees for travel, rehearsals, or extra requests (such as writing custom vows or providing a sound system). Our travel fees are transparently listed and if you don’t see your location, reach out and we’ll share our travel rate. We do not charge extra for rehearsals if the rehearsal is held on the same day of the wedding ceremony; however, there is an additional $100 fee for rehearsals held on a different day. We do not provide a sound system; we rely on vendors like your venue or band/DJ. Otherwise, we’re the project-our-voice types!

Your Perfect Wedding Officiant is Just Around the Riverbend

Choosing the perfect wedding officiant is kind of like finding “the one” You want to find someone who gets you, understands your vision, supports your values, relates to you, and is dedicated to creating a meaningful ceremony that reflects the magic of YOU. By considering your chosen officiant’s style, experience, availability, and personality, you are ensuring that your ceremony will be memorable, meaningful, and (of course) legally binding.

Start your search early, ask the right questions, and trust your instincts! Your perfect officiant is ready AND EXCITED to bring your dream wedding ceremony to life!

Looking for the perfect officiant for your wedding?
Reach out today to learn more about our personalized wedding officiant services and ceremony experiences in NYC, Boston, and beyond!